Monday, September 24, 2007

should i stay or should i go

i have been with a band for maybe a year now. i am playing as a rhythm guitarist but being a flexible player allowed me to play as a bass guitarist and a lead guitarist, as well, when the corresponding bandmates were not able to be in the gig. it was really enjoying to be in a band and i can't deny that i am proud to be with this band that i'm in. i find my bandmates very fun to be with and i enjoy the company.

there is something that makes me want to stop playing but i'm really not sure if i want to leave because i really am a music lover. but sometimes i feel so tired and sometimes i am seeing everything as non-sense. when i think of the Fridays that i should be spending with my wife instead of rehearsing with the band.. when i think of moving the instruments to the venue and moving it back after each gig... it's really exhausting! and to think that we are not getting anything from this but a handshake and thank-you phrases.

but when i think of the sense of achievement that i get when the band was able to cover something.. of the applauses and screaming from the crowd... the thankful audience. i can't tell how happy i am after each successful gig; it just erases the tired feeling. and that's what makes it difficult for me to decide whether i'm staying or i'm leaving!

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