Monday, March 30, 2009

Tsip Chao: The War at Home

The War At Home 27th, 2009

The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That’s no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.

Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout “China, Madam/Sir” loudly whenever they hear the word “Spratly.” They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, “Long live Chairman Mao!” at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that’s going a bit too far, at least for the time being.

-From where i got this, they said that Chip Tsao is a best-selling author (i wonder how) and columnist. A former reporter for the BBC, his columns have also appeared in Apple Daily, Next Magazine and CUP Magazine, among others.

the first two lines of the above article are enough to tell that the writer is non-sense; and he calls himself patriotic with those statements.

i wonder how you look at yourself to have the courage if not insanity to write things like these. i have never read anything as stupidly racist as this one! who the hell are you that you want yourself to be treated as 'master'. these 'servants' that you are pertaining to are working professionally, respecting their contracts, working in exchange of monthly salary and not because they treat anybody as 'master'. the monthly salary maybe cheap for you then be thankful that you earn more than enough to pay for the 'cheap' salary of your 'servant' to take care of your everyday mess. i never imagined of somebody to look down at someone so bad until i read your article.

for your information Mr. Cheap Chao (suits you more), in some cities here in the Middle East, your precious Chinese women fill the streets at night selling sex for as low as the value of a mobile phone prepaid card less than $10. so cheap that all the customer has to do when asked the famous question "HOW MUCH?" is to simply flash a prepaid card - and the business starts! believe me or not, i think 'how much' is the only English phrase they know. it is so notorious that even when you ride a taxi, the driver won't stop talking about their adventures with these women for such a cheap rate until you go down.

with all the facts i have stated, Mr. Cheap Chao, i have never looked down on your precious Chinese women but pitied them, instead. i am not a columnist like you but sometimes i am capable of understanding complicated things, which you seem to lack. i even admire them for having the courage to do shameful things just to earn something that is far cheaper than what your 'servant' earn. you are lucky and you should be thankful with the status that you are enjoying. i wonder how you'll be surviving if you will be in the same status as these women in the streets are.

with all due respect to the countries i will mention, you look up to Russia because of Lenin and Stalin, you look up to Japan because of anime, Hello Kitty and Shinjuku, now you look down on the Philippines because it is producing 130,000 domestic helpers to your country. i don't think it's a valid reason to look down on us. what about China? what have you produced? toys and foods that are chemically toxic, am i right? i think you should put into consideration before you fly high, my 'Master', that most of the products coming from you are usually pulled out from the stores for product recall. inspite of all these things, did anyone from the Philippines or anywhere in the world branded China as a poison-producing country? no one did. it is because everyone, just like me, has the capability of understanding complicated things which, i repeat, you lack.

now, before you lecture your 'servant' regarding geography, try to understand simple things first. it will be useful for your career as a columnist, believe me. and may i remind you... in the last line of the previous paragraph, 'everyone, just like me' means HUMAN. you, i don't know what are you Mr. Cheap Chao. Mr is short for mister and not MASTER! ...and if ever your article was a satire, then this goes to who you portray.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


ipagdasal natin ang kaluluwa ni Francis Magalona na pumanaw kahapon lang. isang institusyon sa larangan ng Pinoy Rap. s'ya ang responsable kung bakit naging seryoso at makatuturan ang Pinoy Rap at naiangat ito mula sa pagiging novelty. sa aking paniniwala, s'ya rin ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit nagwakas ang 'awayang hiphop at metal' nung dekada '90.

sa Master Rapper, Man from Manila, FrancisM.... isang milyong saludo sa iyo at sa mga adhikain mo!

every color and every hue is represented by me and you